Inspiring Others to "Walk Their Talk" By Elaine Newman

There are times in a person's life, amazing fleeting times, when they know what they believe in and stand for, has made a difference in shaping the choices of others.  These are the times we wait for and treasure, when we realize all of our hard work and effort has resonated with people we love and hope to inspire.  For parents, aunts and uncles and other adult family members, this is the defining moment with children. Last night, I had such a moment.

My daughter, Alexandra graduated last November from McGill University in Montreal with a Master of Science (MSc) Family Medicine.  Her thesis focused on the well sibling experience of anxiety and depression in young adults.  Her brother (my son) Michael has struggled with severe anxiety his entire life and her personal experience as his sister influenced her choice of thesis topic.  Much has been studied and written about the impact of mental health issues on the family unit from the individual's as well as the parent's perspective, but little to no research has been centered on the well sibling's experience.  Alexandra's thesis utilized qualitative research to explore the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the study group of 18 to 25 year old well siblings. This was a true case of lived experience shaping important choices in our life.

Alexandra was invited by the Jack.org McGill Students' Chapter to talk about her thesis and the impact that mental health issues have on the whole family unit at their Bridge the Gap speaker series this week.

“Jack.org is the only national network of young leaders transforming the way we think about mental health.  With initiatives and programs designed for young people, by young people, they strive to end the stigma in our generation.  

In 2010, Jack Windeler was a first year student at Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, Canada.  He was a lively, bright and funny young man who was also struggling with mental illness.  Halfway through the school year, his grades dropped, he stopped going to class and he became disinterested and disengaged. Like many young people, Jack couldn't reach out for help.  In March 2010, Jack died by suicide. His loss devastated his family, shocked the Queen's community and started a movement. Following his death, his parents, Eric Windeler and Sandra Hanington asked friends and family to make donations to Kids Help Phone in Jack's memory.  The outpouring of support created the foundation for The Jack Project which has since grown into a registered Canadian charity which focuses its efforts on decreasing stigma and improving mental well being on campuses.”

Back in September 2014, my son Michael started his freshman year at college and it was no surprise to us that he chose to attend Queens University.  What was surprising to us was that he could go away to college at all.  With his severe anxiety, he had never, and I mean never, been able to participate in overnight school trips, stay at friend's houses or travel by himself.  With the support of his family, friends, doctor, and coach who he had worked with since age 8, Michael started a year-long plan focused on enabling him to attend a university away from Toronto. 

Michael not only saw this as an opportunity to enable and empower his own life, he developed into a champion for other people living with mental health disabilities. Michael quickly became an ally and mentor for younger students in his school who were experiencing the all too familiar fears and anxiety that have plagued him for so many years. 

With this new glimpse of discovery into his own purpose, Michael has been exploring endeavors he couldn’t have conceived possible just a short time ago.  He has been invited to and has spoken at school events, as well as attended outside conferences with his school counsellor, a personal mentor of his for the past 9 years.  Most importantly Michael accomplished this amazing goal that he had set out for himself, while at the same time leaving others to feel inspired to do the same.

Last night, I received an unexpected gift, packaged in a brief Facebook comment.  As most of us do these days, my daughter Alexandra took to her Facebook profile, to make mention of her speaking engagement with the Jack.org McGill Students' Chapter. 

Michael left the following comment:

"really proud of my big sister Alex for speaking about her thesis at McGill today! As someone who has struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember, having a family member focus a thesis on mental health issues and helping others affected by this is the best thing I could ever ask for! Love You."

I told my children last night, how proud I was of both of them for "walking the talk" and being role models and advocates for individuals with mental health issues.  Awareness, understanding, advocacy and empathy are critical to supporting others in every respect.  If all of us can focus on inspiring others in some way, big or small, to "walk their talk", the world will truly become a better place. 

"Some people see things as they are and say, why? I dream things that never were and say, why not?" ~ Robert Kennedy 

Global Learning Infographic: International Women's Day 2015

Where Are You Leading Us?

As a society, we have developed the practice of choosing leaders to maintain what we hope will be high-quality efficiency in our workplaces and our communities. The goal of any leader should not only be to always maintain productivity, but to also continuously strive to seek it.  

When political leaders utilize social platforms that seek to remove rights from law-abiding  individuals, I must question: how is this efficient or productive? 

Last Tuesday, the province of Quebec elected Pauline Marois of the Parti Quebecois as the first female premier in its history. My “fellow Canadian female leadership” hat is tipped to her for such an achievement. However, Ms. Marois’ position on diversity has certainly given me pause for concern, as she has wandered into my professional arena.

Marois balanced her victory on a platform that sought - and could potentially succeed in - removing all religious references and attire from all provincial institutions. This would include turbans, head scarves, and even yarmulkes. Excluded from the list of religious symbols: the crucifix, as one hangs at the National Assembly and has been deemed of historical significance.

I’m a big fan of empathy and the act of envisioning the experience of others. 

Imagine this, if you will:

It’s your first day of work with the province of Quebec,where you will answer phone calls from the public at the Attorney General’s office. Upon your arrival, you are greeted by a young man clothed with a turban. He treats you with respect and does everything he can to make sure you feel comfortable on your first day. He even makes it his job to introduce you to the rest of the team. Not once does he ever say anything religious, let alone regarding his own faith. 

Does this man’s turban or actions in any way, shape or form:

• prohibit you from doing your job?
• prohibit you from freely expressing yourself?
• place you in any danger?

The answer is no.

Why would a leader such as Pauline Marois seek to oppress personal identities for political gain? 

What is the point?

The only point to invoke such laws is to make those who are uncomfortable with difference feel more comfortable.  

This is unproductive and inefficient.

Our global history is fraught with examples, teaching us that oppression will only lead us, at best, to short-lived functionality.  There will always be a break in the system caused by the mental strain of resentment. These cracks inevitably carry with them a firestorm of financial loss and extreme emotional damage.

We cannot, however, sit back and only shake our fists at the leaders we have elected to follow. 

As constituents of any society we must look at these situations with deep understanding. The more people choose to align themselves with any leader, the louder that leader’s voice becomes.  

What does this mean? If you choose to follow, promote, vote for a leader who is actively seeking to deny equal rights to any law-abiding individual, you are choosing to promote oppression. 

This is your right. But what will this do for the future of your community? What lesson will younger generations learn from such actions?

Say you were invited to three parties on the same evening. Each party has a very specific set of criteria required to attend it.

With your physical, mental and fiscal well being in mind, which party would you choose?

The party where:

• You are welcome as you are, but all that is expected of you is that you abide by the law.  
• You are welcome, but only if you alter yourself to be similar to everyone else and, if you don’t, it’s against the law.
• You are not welcome at all. Just being you is against the law.

I firmly stand for you and your right as an individual to follow whichever leader - and attend whichever party - you feel makes the most sense to your life’s journey.  But you must always recognize the proven dangers when following a leader that seeks to oppress law-abiding citizens.

Leadership on the grounds of oppression will inevitably result in an outcome that contains fear, tension, and distress.

I ask again: how is promoting the oppression of law-abiding constituents’ efficient leadership? 

The answer is and will always be: it’s not.

“He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.” -Thomas Paine

At the 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month by Joseph Lévesque

(The following is a guest blog by friend of Global Learning, Joseph Levesque. Joseph is a professional classical singer, government employee, and proud Canadian.) 

Remembrance Day (also known as Poppy Day, Armistice Day or Veterans Day) is a memorial day observed in Commonwealth countries to remember the members of their armed forces who have died on duty since the First World War.

Remembrance Day is observed on November 11^th to recall the official end of World War I on that date in 1918. The major hostilities of World War I were formally ended "at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month" of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice. The day was specifically dedicated by King George V, on November 7^th 1919, as an observance of members of the armed forces who were killed during World War I.

Every year on November 11, Canadians offer a silent moment of remembrance for the men and women who have served, and currently serve their country during times of war, conflict and peace. More than 1,500,000 Canadians have served in Canada’s military and sadly the country has lost more than 100,000 fallen heroes. They gave their lives and their futures so that we may live in peace.

The red remembrance poppy has become a familiar emblem of Remembrance Day due to the poem “In Flanders Fields”.

 

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie,

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

Its’ opening lines refer to the many poppies that were the first flowers to grow in the churned earth of soldiers' graves in Flanders, a region of Europe that overlies parts of Belgium, France, and the Netherlands. Canadian physician and Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae is popularly believed to have written it on May 3^rd, 1915 after witnessing the death of a fellow soldier and beloved friend, Lieutenant Alexis Helmer. The poem was first published on December 8^th, 1915 in the London-based magazine Punch.

In 1918, American YWCA worker Moina Michael, inspired by the poem, vowed to always wear a red poppy as a symbol of remembrance for those who served in the war. At a November 1918 YWCA Overseas War Secretaries' conference, she appeared with a silk poppy pinned to her coat and came bearing 25 more for fellow attendees. She then campaigned to have the poppy adopted as a national symbol of remembrance. At a conference in 1920, the National American Legion adopted it as their official symbol of remembrance.

Following the First World War, a French woman Madame E. Guérin, suggested to British Field-Marshall Earl Haig, a founder of the Royal British Legion, that women and children in devastated areas of France could produce poppies for sale to support wounded Veterans. In 1921 she sent her poppy sellers to London, where they were adopted by Field Marshal Haig. The first of these poppies were distributed in Canada in November of 1921, and the tradition has continued ever since. It was also adopted by veterans' groups Australia and New Zealand.

A white poppy is also not uncommon. Some people choose to wear white poppies as a pacifist alternative to the red. The white poppy and white poppy wreaths were introduced by the UK's Co-operative Women's Guild in 1933. Today, white poppies are sold by Peace Pledge Union or may be home-made.

On November 11 especially, but also throughout the year, we have the opportunity to remember the efforts of these special individuals. In remembering, we pay homage to those who respond to their country's needs. On November 11, we pause for two minutes of silent tribute, and we attend commemorative ceremonies in memory of our war dead.

I want to conclude with another poem, this one by Mary Elizabeth Frye. While this text has no direct correlation to Remembrance Day, Canadian composer Eleanor Daley has set the poem to music as a part of a Requiem – entitled “In Remembrance”. It is often sung in Canada as part of memorial and remembrance services.

“Do not stand at my grave and weep” by Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932)

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly proportional to how they perceive the Veterans of earlier wars were treated and appreciated by their nation."

- George Washington